Lethally Modded

Jake...God...No? Goku?? Jake from state farm, freshly fired from his job, certainly by nobody of a different race. A waitress dropped his coffee, jake reached into his pocket and dumped his flask of vodka into the mug and took several gulps. After letting out a small burp he saw in the corner of his eye a white figure.. "god..?", jake said. He blinked and turned towards where he saw the figure, next to the bathroom. After another blink he saw the bathroom door shut. Frantically he sprinted over to the bathroom door and hesitantly put his hand on the door knob to open it. He sucked in his breath.. "god.."

"Young man, you dare call my name in Vain?!" God said as he barged in. Jake blushed never before seeing such chiseled and glistening abs, like moonlit water on a beautiful spring night. God was, well LITERALLY blinding. His skin radiated of pure radiance and Jake was all the ever more intrigued of him. Jakes words came out like peppered whispers. "I... God.. I WAS FIRED!" he desperately cried, actively trying to hide his ever so growing arousal of the wondorous man. "Please. Help me!"

The long-haired man, adorned in holy white garbs, kneels down before the sobbing ex State-Farm representative. He placed his untainted hands upon Jake's shoulders.

"Jake, you are your own man. A man that is on his own path in life. State Farm has decided to move on from you, and you must find room in your heart to make the same decision."

Jake looks up at Christ, who has made time in his bathroom break to hear Jake's pleas.

"God, I... I don't know what to do with myself!"

Jake lunges at him, wrapping his drunken arms around the Saint himself and eating his face like it was an apple from the Garden of Eden. After a few moments, Jake pulls himself away, looking at the Holy Father with sorrowful eyes. God stares back at him, feeling nothing but parental love for his child. He sets his hand on Jake's shoulder once again.

"Homosexuality is a sin, Jake."